When can we talk?

Dealing with Pastoral Anxiety; Fit to Lead, Ministry Health Lost and Regained; Trauma, Ministry When it Matters Most; Why We Need Heroes.  These are just some of the titles on Magazine covers that have come across my desk over the past six months.  They all seem to be pointing to something that is glaringly obvious to any of us in the church; there appears to be something wrong with today’s church leader, or at least those writing the magazines we are all reading seem to think so.

According to everything written in the magazines we all subscribe to, healthy churches in the West seem to be fewer and farther between, and healthy leaders the same.  I have been part of what I would consider a healthy church.  I have also been part of an unhealthy one, or two.  Lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about a question; when will we start talking about this?  Why can't we talk? Why are our churches continuing to languish?   Why are young adults leaving the church? What needs to change?  

I know there are a lot of books being written about these questions and other like them, conferences that we spend millions of dollars each year to attend, but what we really need is to sit in the same room together and talk.  Have an honest conversation with each other.  

I tried to bring up in a conference workshop several years ago that what young adults want more than anything else in churches was authentic relationships, or simply put, their desire to have a safe, honest conversation with someone. I didn’t get very far in the examination before those in the room ran to their own defense.  The discussion turned from the longing and desire millennials have to find places of authenticity inside the church, to how authentic and real people in the church were.  Really? And where is this happening?

As this was being said, I was reading the faces of those 40 and under in the room, and that wasn’t what I was sensing from their reaction.  But they sat and remained silent, again.  Can't blame them. But if you don't believe me, ask them; talk with them.  After that session I had one of the younger pastors who was in the room walk up to me, thanking me for at least trying.

I think we have a problem, and we all know it.  But because we are unwilling to talk with each other, because we no longer know how to talk with each other, we can't talk about the things that are most important. Try to have a safe, honest conversation about homosexuality, alcohol, racism, violence, or social justice in the climate we are currently in.  It's almost impossible.

So, today I find myself wanting to thank Magazines like Leadership Journal, Relevant, Grace and Peace, and Sojourners for trying, but apparently we aren’t ready to talk about what they're writing about.  Oh we'll subscribe, we will read what they write, we'll attend their conferences, but the truth is we just need someone to talk to. 

I'm Back

I've been away from this for a while, and it's good to be back.  I don't believe that anything I write will necessarily be original, or earth shaking, but I feel the need to write.  

I've been blogging for almost 7 years now, and until 2011, they were published under the site, oldyuthguy.blogspot.com  You can go there if you want to play catch up, or you can just jump in here.

For my real job, I have the privilege of serving my Alma mater, Olivet Nazarene University, as their chaplain.  I believe I work with some of the finest emerging adults in the world.  That being said, what I write here are my thoughts.  Olivet and I get along fine, but I don't want there to ever be confusion as to whether I speak for the university.  I carry my responsibility as Chaplain with kit gloves, tending to the responsibility that is mine, and here I write.

Some of what I write will be about family, pictures and all.  But most of what I write about will be about the church I love, the emerging adults I do life with, and a combination of the two.  

Youth ministry has been, and God willing, will continue to be my life.  I love students, I love the church, and I want students to love the church.  As Hybels coined several years ago now, it is the hope of the world.  Everything I write is toward that end. 

So, this is the first post, and once I finish editing, another one will be close behind. Thanks for reading, being kind in your responses, and for making this journey with me.